within the bowels of James River
High School, four men belonging
to the meanest clique in the white suburbs of Chesterfield, created
what has been
described as “ a dance that is a metaphor for the streets”. I speak
of The Condor, a dance that takes skill, dedication, focus and a six foot
How To Do The Condor: First squat with your knees bowed out. Then balance on the toes of your feet like a triumphant predatory bird
on the hunt. Finally, begin to flap your arms in a graceful
manor like that of a Condor, letting everyone around you know you are a boss.
It’s best to do the Condor at Prom, pep rallies or in public
places in the presence of strangers. Always begin any “car dance” with a solid
45 second Condor. Remember that by doing the Condor you are letting everyone within a 50 foot
radius know that you are the shit, simply by paying homage to the greatest
avian species on Earth. Long live the CONDOR!