When you are too tired to look up actual porn, you just do a search on Google images.
I searched for Natalie Portman pictures on Google Images and whacked off like I was 12 again.
an adjective used to describe a woman that has taken many loads in her buttocks during a gang bang
"This anal gang bang is sick. She's a Peruvian Dump Truck."
While a woman is receiving oral from a person, she wraps her legs around their head and farts. Her legs form a neck brace making it impossible for the person to break free.
I had to shave my goatee because it still smelled like that Guatemalan Neck Brace she gave me the other night.
Something middle aged guys can whack off to instead of porn
I watched the Disney Channel...and then steam cleaned the sofa.
a term used when a girl needs to choose between two guys to be her boyfriend. She takes them to a Harry Potter movie, sits between them and jerks them off. Whichever lasts longer or has the most impressive weiner is the winner.
I've been with my girlfriend since the Double Potter
1) When a woman over indulges on a clitoral stimulation pump causing her clitoris to become red and a little swollen resembling a red mango
2) A frozen yogurt chain
1) That girl either has got a penis or a red mango. Look how she is walking.
2) Let's go enjoy some frozen yogurt at Red Mango.
Another move of anal trickery, a man will surprisingly thrust his penis into an unsuspecting parter's butt at the moment of ejaculation. As soon as he completes this act, he aggressively beats his hands on his partner's back like Donkey Kong. Then, he goes and eats a banana.
I got arrested for assault after pulling The Donkey Kong. Worth it.